by The shoulders sagged, the reality hit and the tears came flowing out. Eliza McCartneys Olympic dream was over and the emotions were just too much to contain.
The 24-year-old Aucklander, alongside national squadmate Olivia McTaggart, had her final crack on Saturday at making it to the Tokyo Olympics in the last of three straight winter series pole vault meets at the AUT Millennium indoor facility.
Both had to clear 4.70 metres to nail an add-on spot at the Tokyo Games, and both failed at 4.50m as the realities of tough, disrupted buildups came home to haunt them. For McCartney, in particular, it was a gut-wrenching outcome.
Five years ago she had won a fairytale bronze medal as a 19-year-old rookie sensation at the Rio Games. Now she doesnt even get the chance to go back and have another crack at catching lightning in a bottle.
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A big part of that is the chronic Achilles tendon problem that has pretty much forced her to compete with the handbrake on for the last three years. She says its 2018 when she cleared her PB of 4.94m in Germany when she last felt unencumbered. Thats a long time to carry the proverbial weight on your shoulders
You could see it on Saturday as she struggled to even complete her shortened runup, let alone launch herself up and over the heights required. McCartney gritted her teeth and tried hard, as did McTaggart who came awfully close to clearing 4.50m on her final attempt, but in the end the circumstances were just too much to shake off.
That was really tough, just to get down the runway, McCartney told Stuff after taking some time to compose herself. It was a battle internally as well, just because every runup is slightly different, and sometimes I make a step and it just hurts too much to carry on.
When its like that I tend to be guessing quite a bit and its not conducive to a really great jump. But I did manage to get one height in there.
I felt like 4.50 was something I could have done today which was good and bad, because I didnt do it. Each run was just quite a struggle. When the runway mechanics arent quite right, its pretty hard to get it right in the air after that.
Alisha Lovrich/Athletics NZ
Pole vaulter Olivia McTaggart came up short in her final crack in Auckland on Saturday at nailing a late spot at the Tokyo Olympics.
The truth is McCartney is a shadow of the pole vaulter she was from 2016 to 2018 when she soared to the very top echelons of her sport. Her debilitating condition just has not allowed her to either train or compete at anything resembling her best.
The last time I felt at my best was in 2018 I just havent been able to do that since. Every year that goes past it makes it a lot harder because you havent competed in so long, havent felt those feelings, havent been on the long runups, the right poles, and when youre out of rhythm it makes it a lot harder to get back into it.
This year has been really tough. I wanted to stop a number of times in the last six months but something makes you just keep going. Its because its not over until its over. I knew the qualifying period ends in a couple of days, and I didnt want to stop before then.
I wanted to feel like Id given it everything I had. I would have regretted it if I had stopped any sooner. I would have always thought, what if, what if?
McCartney never got any rhythm going in this last-chance event.
Alisha Lovrich/Athletics NZ
Eliza McCartney thanks her supporters after her final crack at qualifying for the Olympics in Auckland on Saturday.
She came in at 4.30m, and only got things together on her final attempt to clear the bar. But at 4.50 she had a first-up misfire, could not even get off the ground on her second crack and was well off on her final roll of the dice.
McTaggart came a lot closer. The 21-year-old, who had to shake off a fractured hand suffered in March when a pole snapped on her and then an ankle injury, got over 4.30m comfortably at her second attempt and then had three fairly decent shots at 4.50m just 5cm off her PB.
On her third she got the height, but just clipped the bar on her way down and watched in agony as it teetered and then fell to also extinguish her Olympic hopes.
McTaggart, too, felt the emotions unfurl at the end and had to be consoled by her support crew. She also felt the abject disappointment.
I feel like Ive had that moment a few times this season, when I snapped my pole and a few other things. Sport is tough and its emotional and I was just happy to be out there with Eliza going for those heights and giving it everything, she told Stuff.
The fact we both had an opportunity to be that close to qualifying is exciting, but it makes not getting it a little bit worse.
My last jump was one of the best Ive done I just wish Id maybe done it a little earlier. I was really close, [the bar] stayed on for about a second, gave me some hope and then crushed it.
Both will now take breaks before returning for a big 2022 season that will include potential shots at both the world indoor and outdoor championships and the Commonwealth Games. For McCartney, in particular, a refresh is essential.
When I come back I need to feel really motivated and strong, like Ive got new intentions and new goals. I need something that is going to help me get there.
