by - Your Next Meeting with Foreign Minister Gromyko
I.Gromyko and US-Soviet Relations
Nature of man:
Hes a commie. Also, suspected Trilateralist.
To watch: has lied to nine Secretaries of State.
Wife: short, lovely; high boots.
Young by old Sov standards, old by new Sov standards.
Avocations: dissembling, repressing Eastern Europe, punk rock
(CIA imagery at Tab A),2 reading Meister
Eckhart.
Points to Make
Now is moment of opportunity for US-Soviet relations.
Lets not blow it this time.
Scotch, Bourbon or the whip?
II. What To Expect From
Moscow Under Gorbachev
Hes young, hes smooth, hes got razor blades on his elbows.
Major changes in context of bureaucratic stagnation.
Gorby not a liberal despite opposition to MX missile.
Only went into politics because he failed Soviet Bar
Examination.
First moves will be to revitalize Soviet economy, end the arms race,
and get Mrs. G a charge account at Neiman Marcus.
[Page 50]Watch out for
Ugly purple birthmark across his forehead making him look like
Luca Brazzi.3 Dont be unnerved.
II. Arms Control
Sovs like big nukes.
Sovs have lots of gas.
Points to Make
If Soviets dismantle all SS20s, we are willing to airbrush out
Gorbachevs birthmark in
US photographs.
If Sovs reduce to zero, we might consider talking about SDI.
Eliminate nucs, make the world safe for conventional warfare, but:
if they withdraw Red Army to Urals, we will reduce General Officers
in EUCOM.
If Sovs agree to on-site inspection, particularly at Plesetsk and
Sary Shagan, we will give an IBM PC to each
decision-maker.
III. Soviet Economy and
Bilateral Economic Issues
Fishingwhale of a problem.
Point to Make
Dont blubber. Youre guilty as hell of violating whales. American
people do not understand.
IV. Regional Issues
Continue to be ready for regional discussions, maybe.
No negotiations, just talks, if not too substantive and provided they
dont make anybody angry.
Recognize that real men dont talk to Soviets
about individual regional problems.
Point to Make
Avoid strategic miscalculation: want to talk about Antarctica, Fiji,
and Burkina Faso.
V. Bilateral Problems
VE Day
Sovs tough on FRG, but want big
US-Sov VE Day bash. We have
counterproposalthey drop anti-revanchism line, indicate willingness
to stress coop approach with FRG.
In that context we prepared offer big 50th Anniversary Celeb for
Hitler-Stalin pact; Les Gelb will represent US.
[Page 51] ONeill Codel to travel to Soviet Union in April; out of town for
Congressional discussion of Nicaragua proposal.
Points to Make
President wishes success and small hangovers.
Advice to Gromyko: ONeill likes to bluff.
VI. Cultural Exchanges
Ready for big expansion in people-to-people contacts, live and dead.
Point to Make
We have new proposal: why dont you send Lenins body to US on tour. Just like King Tut
exhibit.
We are prepared to respond by sending Jane Fonda workout group on
tour of Soviet cities.
